By Ann Greazel
Jesus is clean. He is standing, about to be killed. He has a pure body and pure soul. He is all that is good. The ropes around his strong and caring hands has them bound together, barely able to be touched together in prayer. He has a gaze outward toward the people, to us, in a look of question, sadness, and caring. It is we who turned from Him and from our Lord.
Could I yell “Barabus”? Could I save Jesus? Could I have been willing to die for Him? All around me, those who are ready to condemn me for believing in Him, who is all good and deserving of all my love? Can I resist the weakness of my being to do wrong, to lash out, and to become a member of the crowd that day?
Can I stop to realize all that He is to me? Even in my pain, suffering, sorrow, embarrassment, awkward situations, lack of knowledge to an expected response, shortcomings of leadership? And step back from control, expectations of others and the ability to see our Lord in all that I am and all that I do? To love Him more deeply, see Him more clearly and follow Him more nearly?
Can I remove pride from my soul and embrace humbleness? Turn away from earthly things and stand up for people? Sacrifice for people? Truly give my life to Jesus as He so willingly gave to us?
Please guide me. Please walk with me as I continue to try to do better, sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. For with you I have the strength to live against all odds and to become closer to you through any amount of suffering that make me who I am.
I am not worthy. I do not deserve your love. But in honor of you, I accept your unconditional love and that one day at the gates of Heaven, when you are at my door, my time to pass from this life on Earth, and ask the questions: Why should I let you in? Why should you decide to follow me? Does your soul thirst to walk my son’s steps?
Lord, I choose to follow you because of the 5,475 lashes that your only son, Jesus took for love of me. Your love of me. I am not worthy. I do not leave a straight and narrow path behind me. You have reconciled my weakness, faults, trials and many falters, guilt, and angry moments with your love and forgiveness, so that you may heal the broken road behind me.
I beg you my Lord to take me into your arms and forgive and heal my broken path, because of your unconditional love for me. I love you more that I pen in a journal. But through a pen flows your spirit, a connection that I long for and love.